JOHN 12

"No. I won't go. No. I am not afraid and you should not be either. Come, sit with me. Yes, I heard them too. . .and NO! I am not a bit worried. After last week . . . that's the best threat that group of snakes can come up with? It's funny -- yes it is! Don't worry, Sweet. Don't you understand yet? No, I am not sorry I am here -- it's just --, well...

 No," he said, staring off at the horizon. "No, not sorry." kissing her hand and touching her cheek. "No, it's just I don't think I'll ever actually readjust. It is a bit like waking from a dream ~ you know, the kind you don't want to leave. Only . . . well, it was more like I had been awake, and I had to come back to . . . not to sleep, but . . . I don't know. Something a bit less real. It is quite disorienting.

I heard Him --  What? What was I doing? Doing? I was . . . there was so much to see and so many people. I saw Simon, whole and eyes filled with light ~ and Mother and Father, of course. And...Tara, her skin soft and clean...SUCH a smile! And . . . I could run! I hadn't run -- you know...just, just for the joy of it since -- I don't even know! I was laughing, and listening, and looking . . . when --

 -- but, what was I saying? OH, when I woke I couldn't actually open my eyes. I didn't know why. He said, 'Come forth', but . . .," he laughed shaking his head, "like walking out all trussed and bound was going to be easy. Yeah, that's what we were laughing about. I hobbled out, following His voice. Then He said, 'Unwrap him.',  then, well somewhere in those moments --  hands all over me pulling something off -- I thought, 'OH, I DIED!!'

Don't laugh! Yes, but well, as I said, disorienting!!.  . . . then I saw His eyes. Then you, then Mary. No, my sweet sister. I do not want wine. It isn't the same...here. I'll wait. He promised me a toast. No, not today. Did you hear Him as He left? Yes, ~ 'See you at the Wedding Supper' ~ that's what he meant ------- His."

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