clearing the mess
my brain feels too too full, crowded with mis-matched paraphernalia
have you ever had a dinner party and then someone cleared an over-filled table to an already full kitchen counter, stacking haphazardly ~ bowls and plates and serving dishes stacked with silver ware...it feels kind of like that:
Egypt has erupted and everyone seems to have an opinion, but NO ONE has an intelligent solution because it really is too full of complication and misery and anger -- justified anger and danger and corruption and fear and indignation and rage...and no one knows what will happen and Egypt matters, oh shock and amazement of all the media! Egypt matters...and that is why 'they' care. And I have a dear friend who is Egyptian and who has family there and that is his country and he is here and ...
And what about the people ?
A very sweet lady who is strong and brilliant and powerful and feisty and full full full of life ~ had a heart attack. It is called 'broken heart syndrome'
I didn't expect it -- who would. She is home and she will recover. Her heart is injured, not damaged. We know each other but we aren't close, but it hit me and I prayed all night...woke in the night to my prayers for her and for her husband and for her children...I think this woman is amazing and it shocked and grieved and frightened me. My heart felt like it was in a vise-grip as the faces of her husband and children and friends passed through my mind.
It is spring here, and will be for, oh...at least 45 more minutes ~ I think. The mock cherry trees are dazzling and white and look like cotillion dresses (yes, Jeff, I know I already said that last year, but they DO!)
The air is fresh and the hills are green and look like they are fresh scrubbed like they have their "Sunday-go-to-meetin" garb on.
My friend's mother died. He has a wife and children and siblings. We went to the funeral. For them...my friend and his wife. It was a great funeral -- oxymoron, I know. But it was, if you know what I mean. She was one of those amazing women and now she is gone and I know there is a hole in his life. and
it made me aware again of the holes in life around me and how they shouldn't be there . . .and . . . I got angry and I cried and ... it is the rattling of an ugly chain
My oldest daughter is going to have a baby...a girl. I love it. I love her. I love how she mothers (she already has a son...the cutest boy -- REALLY the CUTEST!!!, I've looked. He is amazing) My oldest daughter is going to have a child, her second.
My youngest son just took his second practicum in his Biology class {and did REALLY well} and is starting Kung-fu this week. . . he is my youngest and he really earned an A on a really HARD PRACTICUM and ... he is my youngest and it is hard to see his struggle, but so great to see his successes . . . and ... he is my youngest
My youngest daughter is going to turn 25...it also hit me when she turned 5. I am not sorry that she is turning 25...don't get me wrong. I was glad she was 5, when she was 5, too. It is just that there is this line of demarcation...sort-of a 'no turning back now' line. 25 TWENTY-FIVE! OK, I'll stop that now.
I don't think I have opinions about all this...OK, I do...but I mean it is all just there ~ jumbled and stacked like dishes after a big dinner on my counter. And it is crowded around all the 'other' things: glasses, and forks, and celery and onion skin and pot holders....you get it? it is like that in my mind too: the cobwebs are getting to me, and there are books I should read and the flu this season has been ...
well you get the idea.
so the long and short of it is that I didn't get to the next section...the one on Elijah and Elisha.
I couldn't find the counter.
have you ever had a dinner party and then someone cleared an over-filled table to an already full kitchen counter, stacking haphazardly ~ bowls and plates and serving dishes stacked with silver ware...it feels kind of like that:
Egypt has erupted and everyone seems to have an opinion, but NO ONE has an intelligent solution because it really is too full of complication and misery and anger -- justified anger and danger and corruption and fear and indignation and rage...and no one knows what will happen and Egypt matters, oh shock and amazement of all the media! Egypt matters...and that is why 'they' care. And I have a dear friend who is Egyptian and who has family there and that is his country and he is here and ...
And what about the people ?
A very sweet lady who is strong and brilliant and powerful and feisty and full full full of life ~ had a heart attack. It is called 'broken heart syndrome'
I didn't expect it -- who would. She is home and she will recover. Her heart is injured, not damaged. We know each other but we aren't close, but it hit me and I prayed all night...woke in the night to my prayers for her and for her husband and for her children...I think this woman is amazing and it shocked and grieved and frightened me. My heart felt like it was in a vise-grip as the faces of her husband and children and friends passed through my mind.
It is spring here, and will be for, oh...at least 45 more minutes ~ I think. The mock cherry trees are dazzling and white and look like cotillion dresses (yes, Jeff, I know I already said that last year, but they DO!)
The air is fresh and the hills are green and look like they are fresh scrubbed like they have their "Sunday-go-to-meetin" garb on.
My friend's mother died. He has a wife and children and siblings. We went to the funeral. For them...my friend and his wife. It was a great funeral -- oxymoron, I know. But it was, if you know what I mean. She was one of those amazing women and now she is gone and I know there is a hole in his life. and
it made me aware again of the holes in life around me and how they shouldn't be there . . .and . . . I got angry and I cried and ... it is the rattling of an ugly chain
My oldest daughter is going to have a baby...a girl. I love it. I love her. I love how she mothers (she already has a son...the cutest boy -- REALLY the CUTEST!!!, I've looked. He is amazing) My oldest daughter is going to have a child, her second.
My youngest son just took his second practicum in his Biology class {and did REALLY well} and is starting Kung-fu this week. . . he is my youngest and he really earned an A on a really HARD PRACTICUM and ... he is my youngest and it is hard to see his struggle, but so great to see his successes . . . and ... he is my youngest
My youngest daughter is going to turn 25...it also hit me when she turned 5. I am not sorry that she is turning 25...don't get me wrong. I was glad she was 5, when she was 5, too. It is just that there is this line of demarcation...sort-of a 'no turning back now' line. 25 TWENTY-FIVE! OK, I'll stop that now.
I don't think I have opinions about all this...OK, I do...but I mean it is all just there ~ jumbled and stacked like dishes after a big dinner on my counter. And it is crowded around all the 'other' things: glasses, and forks, and celery and onion skin and pot holders....you get it? it is like that in my mind too: the cobwebs are getting to me, and there are books I should read and the flu this season has been ...
well you get the idea.
so the long and short of it is that I didn't get to the next section...the one on Elijah and Elisha.
I couldn't find the counter.
Truth is, Barb, this is life. The orderly life is really a dream--though we must have some order--and masks living. You have described living really well.
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