The mirror

Reading the story of Ahab in a chunk, as it were, (instead of reading part of it one time, then another part -- or only reading only the part of the story referred to during a sermon) actually makes me feel uncomfortable. It is like this: have you ever watched a movie where one of the characters makes a stupid decision, or walks into a trap? OK, confession time: when that happens to me, I find myself yelling at the screen : "STOP! Don't do that!" -- or some equally inane warning. I bet you do too -- well maybe not you, but some people do. That is how I find myself feeling as I read this story -- only what I want to do is yell at God, "Just kill Ahab! He is going to go on being a jerk! What? You didn't kill him after that??? NO lightening? Really? He's not going to get it, God. He is a self-indulgent brat. YOU said he did more to provoke You than any other king of Israel before him...GIVE UP!" I want to yell this because God does not give up. Infact, "God is not slow about His promise, as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing for any to perish, but for all to come to repentance." (2 Peter 3:9)

and

What ends up happening is that the Ahab story becomes a mirror where I see ME. What I see about myself is I do not want repentance to be enough -- that I still want people (Ahab in this case) to earn the love and mercy of God. ... yeah, I want God to give it to me when I repent, (oh yeah, again and again when ever I blow it)  but ... not to Ahab. And that makes me ask the question: Who else will I find unworthy of God's love and mercy by my standards? And the story reminds me again that God says :

          "For My thoughts are not your thoughts,
          neither are your ways My ways"
          declares the LORD.
          "As the heavens are higher than the earth,
          so are My ways higher than your ways
          and My thoughts higher than your thoughts."

So, lets get on with the story and you can see what I mean.

Back at the ranch...while, it seems, Elijah is chatting with God down at Horab...
Ben-Hadad who is the king of Aram, (Aram is to the north-east of Israel. Damascus is in Aram) decides to attack Samaria, the capital city of Israel. He shows up and says, "Your silver and your gold are mine, and your most beautiful wives and children are mine." Ahab replies, "OK...you got it! What ever you want, you can have." He is about to get his butt kicked and figures, I guess, 'well, Ben-Hadad is going to let me keep the ugly wives.' And, I guess Ben-Hadad saw Ahab as an easy mark, cuz he sends a second messenger to say, "Yeah...give me your silver and gold, and your wives and children AND tomorrow I am sending servants and they will search your palace and ... just take what ever else they want." Ahab calls the elders of the land and tells them what Ben-Hadad did with the 2 messengers. They tell him, "Tell the guy to go jump in a lake." (in case you can't tell by now, I am not quoting scripture ... I am totally paraphrasing. The exact quotes I will put in color, just so you know. You should read it yourself for the exact wording: 1 Kings 20). So Ahab tells Ben-Hadad, "I agree to the first demand, but not the second." Ben-Hadad is NOT happy and, like any good school yard bully, says "May the gods do so to me ~ be it ever so severely ~ if enough dust remains in Samaria to give each of my men a handful."  Yeah, that's pretty clear. Now, I actually LOVE Ahab's reply: "One who puts on his armor, should not boast like one who takes it off." {I suspect there might have been hand gestures ... of, um, some kind ... to accompany the reply.} 
Ben-Hadad tells his men, "Prepare to attack."

MEANWHILE...

(This is where I start yelling, " 'MEANWHILE' Really?!? That means you are about to intervene, huh, God. Come on God! LET BEN-HADAD KILL HIM!! But, no ~ )

GOD sends a prophet to Ahab. The prophet says, "This is what the LORD says, 'Do you see this vast army, I will give it into your hand today, and then you will know that I am the LORD.' "

(Me yelling again: '... then you will know that I am the LORD' ? ? He won't! He won't get it ... he doesn't think you are the LORD. Come on, fire from heaven didn't do it! Let Ben-Hadad win!!!)

But Ahab takes this prophet seriously and asks questions ~ gets specifics!!! "Who will do this?" The prophet replies, "The young officers..." Ahab asks, "Who will start the battle?" The prophet says, "You will."
Ahab attacks, sends in the young officers, and he wins! Ben-Hadad escapes. The prophet tells Ahab to prepare cuz Ben-Hadad will come back the next year. Ben-Hadad's advisers draw a conclusion that seems pretty stupid: "Oh, Israel's God is the God of the mountains and we fought in the mountains, so we lost. Let's go fight on the plains...and then we will win."  The people of that day really thought their gods and their powers were tied to a geographic region. . .so to them this made perfect sense. They had a couple of problems though ~ 1] they didn't know GOD, and 2] they didn't know he could listen to them. And God was listening and ... God has a prophet go tell Ahab, "Because the Arameans think the LORD is a god of the hills and not a god of the plains, I will deliver this vast army into your hands, and you will know that I am the LORD."

(Me yelling: "OK, God, you have a point about the Arameans, but ... Ahab is NOT going to know you are the LORD.")

And, you guessed it: Ahab wins again! This time Ben-Hadad decides to play nice with Ahab. His officials tell him that Ahab is merciful (I think he is a patsy, but what do I know) and suggest that he put on sack-cloth, and humbles himself and that Ahab will spare his life...and...they are right and he does. God is NOT pleased. And God and the prophets are into drama...lets make a point with a picture. So ~ this prophet puts a headband around his face and says to his companion, "Strike me with your weapon." The companion refuses. After he went a way a lion found him and killed him" {WORD TO THE WISE: listen to prophets...it is a good idea!} So, the prophet gets another guy to strike and wound him and then he goes to see Ahab. He tells Ahab that during the battle someone came to him with a captive and said he must guard him and if the captive escaped it would be his life for the captive's life ... but ... while he was busy the captive escaped. Ahab buys the whole thing and tells the prophet -- 'Yeah, I agree. You let him escape -- your life for his life.' Then it says the prophet lifted the headband from his face and the king recognized him. The prophet tells Ahab, "This is what the LORD says, 'You set a man free that I determined should die. Your life for his life, and your people for his people.' " Then it says, "Sullen and angry, the king of Israel went to his palace in Samaria."

What follows is the story of Naboth's vineyard. You should read it...I am going to give only the briefest summary: Naboth, one of Ahab's neighbors, has a vineyard that Ahab wants and he will not sell it to Ahab because it is part of his father's inheritance: family land. That makes Ahab, you guessed it : sullen and angry. Jezebel has Naboth framed and executed: stoned to death. So...Ahab gets the vineyard. Ahab is happy again ~ UNTIL God sends Elijah to him. Elijah blasts him; tells him that, as it were, Naboth's vineyard was the last straw. God is going to wipe him out. The exact wording, "This is what God says, 'Have you murdered a man and seized his property? . . .  In the place where dogs licked up Naboth's blood, dogs will lick up your blood -- yes, yours!   . . .  I will consume your descendants, and cut off from Ahab every last male in Israel - slave or free. I will make your house like the house of Jeroboam.'  . . .  And concerning Jezebel the LORD says, 'Dogs will devour Jezebel by the walls of Jezreel.' "

(ME yelling triumphantly: YEAH!!! Finally! )  but....

Then it says that when Ahab heard these words he put on sackcloth and fasted and went around meekly. And God saw. God tells Elijah, "Have you noticed how Ahab had humbled himself before me? I will not bring this disaster in his day, but I will bring it in the days of his son."

Ahab humbles himself and God is merciful to him. WOW! I want to yell, 'BUT GOD!! He did so MUCH wrong; he let Jezebel kill YOUR prophets; he was a sullen, petulant brat. HE WORSHIPPED BAAL and only listened to your prophets when his skin was on the line. Kill him NOW.'  But God is not like me : His ways are really, really higher than mine. I want God to be merciful but only on my terms and only when I think people deserve it ... have earned it. Really, for me with Ahab, I do not want repentance to be enough. But God -- and I am so grateful this is true -- is good. Here is his name, the name he told Moses on the mountain:

"The LORD, the LORD, the compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness, maintaining love to thousands and forgiving wickedness, rebellion, and sin. Yet He does not leave the guilty unpunished. He punishes the children, and their children to the third and fourth generation."

God is merciful, compassionate, abounding in love. Yet He is also just. Repentance will always turn the heart of God.
I see the goodness of God in this story. The story is a mirror that makes me see my ways, and my heart. I am not willing to let repentance be enough. I am vengeful. That is really ugly. So I repent. So I turn again to God and say, "You are good and merciful. I am not. Please change my heart and make it like Yours."